I got to the checkout, and noticed that the metal frame that has the plastic bags hanging from it was not only “bag less” but sported a hastily made notice that muttered on about “in order to encourage customers to recycle….. bags were no longer left out…. but if you really felt the need to use one then ask the colleague blah, blah, sanctimonious waffle”
The girl then challenged me as to how many of my own bags I had equipped myself with?
The conversation went something like this: –
“Young lady I drive a Jaguar 3 litre V6 that does 19 to the gallon, that in itself may indicate how untroubled I am about the rumours concerning the environment, however more importantly; how uncool would it be if I were to be seen exiting from it with a handful of old carrier bags?
She laughed
Considering that my carbon footprint is already the size of Wales do you seriously think I give a jot as to how much slower the planet will spin if I continue to re-use your naff orange shopping bags? Let’s be honest they rarely last long enough to get my shopping half way up the garden path before giving up the ghost completely and unceremoniously depositing a cocktail of Ajax and bananas on my herbaceous borders. There sole purpose has always been as a marketing tool, they tell the world I shop at Sainsbury’s, nothing else.
On the issue of being made to feel guilty and on a par with a baby strangler because I refuse to juggle with my eggs and cauliflower florets as I return to my car; be rest assured that should I ever feel the need to delegate my conscience to a third party I shall choose an expert in matters moralistic and a damn good negotiator to boot. I doubt very much I shall turn to the likes of Sainsbury’s.
My reasons being a distinct lack of honesty in most of its trading tactics. I draw your attention to the sign over there that proudly proclaims that since Sainsbury’s has declined to foister its free orange bags on the customer, enough of them have been saved to go around the world.
I beg your pardon? Since when have your bags been free? There is no such thing in life as free, it is an overhead and as such affects the prices charged. We the customer pay for them, they are not free. Sainsbury’s is merely jumping on the bandwagon to appear honourable and caring when in fact they are saving themselves money whilst slithering around under the guise of being Eco-friendly.
Also I do recycle supermarket bags I tie up my rubbish in them, which is about all they are fit for after transporting something as grotesquely heavy as a bumper bag of crisps or my till receipt. However if I am to be denied access to them I expect Sainsbury’s will be delighted to sell me bin liners, thus providing even more revenue to boot and damn whatever landfill they end up in!
On the question of overheads I see that that your esteemed employer is still sticking up plastic notices everywhere telling us which of their products is the same price as Asda or Tesco. I can only assume that they have found a printer somewhere who does this service for nothing? I doubt it. How about just not bothering and drop the prices to below that of your competitors? That would be a benefit, and could be achieved by counterbalancing the use of the dosh you save through not printing up self congratulatory propaganda which in reality are saying that if these items are the same price as our competitors then everything else not marked must be more expensive!
I expect the plastic you’d save from not chucking all those signs into landfill, for that is where they will surely end up, would also go some distance around the world as well.”
With a big grin on her face she thanked me for shopping at Sainsbury’s and wished me a good day. I told her I didn’t regard any of this as her fault of course, she’s just on the national minimum wage and is following the instructions of some self important suit upstairs. Twats!
Grabbing hold of my four bags I cranked up my voice a couple of notches and expressed an instinct that although the list of things they now have to say to each customer …………..
“Hello….. Would you like help with packing your bag …… Do you have a wotsit card ……. are you collecting vouchers for school ….. would you like a savings stamp …… would you like cash back …… no the card goes in the other way …. please enter your PIN ….. you can remove your card now ….. .
……….has in fact been added to by having to challenge each punter about returning plastic bags.
I was concerned that their personal achievement targets would be even more out of reach as they are also slowed down now by having to constantly reach into the hidden vault in order to allow you yet another bag (one at a time).
I wouldn’t mind betting folding money to a bent tin of tomatoes that nobody has thought of allowing them more time to troll out this mindless waffle let alone what damage is being done to their psyche through this Pavlovian behaviour.
She had to hide her face to laugh I then realised the check out girls either side of her had joined in.
They all said goodbye and waved to me when I left…….
